#reachforthestars

Hey all,

I really love it when I see people reaching their dreams and people trying hard to reach them.

So everyone should try their best and do what you love where you can! ^_^

Peace out peeps xx

^That's right buddies i'm so GANGSTA :P

It's a long way to the shops if you want a sausage roll...

Sometimes I just want to drive away - far away - away from all the drama and away from all the problems in this household - I just want to get away.

But I know that I would always come back - after a little while, after some time to stop and take a breath.

Everything in this household is such a struggle; a painful journey. Even the simplest of tasks are turned into the hardest of things because of conflict or clashes or just anything.
Certain things in life just shouldnt be this hard.

But no matter how bad things get, we always forgive and move on.

The past few days have been the worst out of all of them - everyone is short tempered towards everyone else and everything has become so stressful. It's an unhealthy environment and I just feel like I'm being suffocated. When I make a mistake or do something wrong suddenly it's like World War Three has begun.

But I know that there are people who have it far worse than I do.

So I'm going to smile, keep moving forward and be thankful. Thankful for what I have. I am lucky because I have a family and friends who love and support me and a wonderful boyfriend who accepts me as I am.

So when I feel down or like everything is falling apart, I just need to pick up the pieces. Take a break. Take a look at everything that is happening around me.
If I can make things better or improve a situation, I will try to.
If people ask for my help, I will help.

After all life is short, so I will take it with a grain of salt, a slive of lemon and a shot of tequila.

Just a quick post...

So I decided that despite the fact I'm dead tired to the extent that I may as well be a zombie (oh wait, I am!) there was enough energy within me to make a blog post.
So here it is.
Yeah...

Anywho, TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF EXAMS FOR ME FOR THIS SCHOOL SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PARTAY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well not really party time, because I don't really party... *awkward*

But I did share some chocolate and chips with friends ^_^
Because that's what we do ... we're so awesome ... hehehe

So yeah I'm pretty much officially un-officially on HOL-I-DAYS!!!!!!!!!!

And life is sweet.

That is all.
Time for bed.

RIP = Run In Pantaloons...?

I am going to die.
(Not literally, but it feels like I will)

One word for ya: Assessment!!
Or rather two words: School Assessment!!

If you have ever had to complete heaps of assessment in a short period of time, you will know exactly what i'm talking about - STRESSFUL TO THE MAX!!! :S

I still have to write up a whole physics practical report which is due in just under 13 hours ...
(Sseems like a lot, but it's not when you take into account time for sleep *thumbs up*)

I probably shouldn't be blogging at the moment... and instead should be doing my report...

But the reason why I'm blogging is because I'm a tad bit on the annoyed side, and the reason for that I will reveal right after this pointless image:

It's so adorable! ^_^
I love this picture hehehe.

Anywho, back to business...

So the reason why I'm a bit annoyed is because I'm working on this group project thingy-ma-bob in one of my classes, and there's this one person in the group who has basically completely taken over and even taken credit for my idea for this thing!! The whole credit thing is fine with me - I really don't mind at the moment as it's not a big deal - but the fact that this person (who I hereby knight Keejev - for no apparent reason other than it looked cool, so if your name is Keejev you are a cool person, and if this word is offensive in any languages I apologise profusely as I only can speak English..) is not listening to anything I say!!!

I have told Keejev a million times that we aren't able to do a certain part of this assignment at my house but Keejev just KEEPS ASKING!!!!!! And to make it worse, Keejev then goes and tells everyone that we are doing it at my house when I've told Keejev we can't so many times!!!

It's so frustrating :S

I can't wait until the school holidays... soon ... very soon...

P.S. as you have probably noticed, the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the actual content of the post :P

Things that go bump in the night ...

Let's face it - when it comes down to it, "quiet" is not in my vocabulary.

I am the noisiest person I know of when it comes to everyday endeavours throughout the household.
For example, when I am stacking dishes, be sure to hear lots of load bangs as I accidently knock things together (somehow they don't fall apart or break - lucky for me!!).
And when I am giving the cat and dog their dinner, not only does my family know, but the neighbours do too!!
Oh and let's not forget about the good old trips to the ladies during the night ...

I CAN NOT BE QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!
I have tried many a time ... *insert sad face here*.

But then I feel absolutely terrible afterwards because I always end up waking everyone up - especially my sibling (who shall be named Figglesworth for all intents and purposes), my poor sibling Figglesworth who has to sleep in the room below all the water pipes and next to the laundry which has a poltergiest that lives in the laundry fan (the fan that spins, not the paparazzi - although it is possible it's the latter; stranger things have happened...).

Tonight I accidently woke up Figglesworth, which isn't good because Figglesworth has been having sleeping troubles the last few nights. I feel so mean - I didn't mean to wake Figglesworth, but I REALLY need to LEARN how to DO things around the house QUIETLY.
(This is a very serious matter - it's in capslock)

Goal of the week: to be a quieter person...
Likelihood of this working: umm...


I guess this will be easier if I stopped pretending to be a bull in a china shop...

The problem with time...

My conclusion of the day is that I hate clocks.
Well, I dont "hate" clocks - I dont hate anything/anyone - but I do very strongly dislike them. Very, very strongly.
Clocks can be useful - they help us by telling us what the time is and sometimes they even have lights and glow in the dark (coolest thing ever!!!).
However, knowing what the time is isnt always a good thing.
Sometimes you don't want to know the time - whether it be because you have a deadline to meet and you aren't quite there yet, or if you're spending time with someone you love and you dont want to leave them.
In these cases, time is something you don't want to associate with, and clocks are just that constant reminder that "Oops, you sure are late - better get a move on or you'll get in trouble."

Or if you are really, really tired and then you're alarm sounds 'ring ring ring' and you look at the clock. 6:30am. It's cold outside. Your window has fogged up and you cant even see the sun.
Do I want to get out of bed? HELL NO!


It is during these times when you just want to throw that blasted clock out the window!
(Which would be unwise since your clock is an antique and if you did your parents would murder you.)
Sadly, time is something that never stops.
Sometimes - when you are having fun - it feels like time is moving at the speed of light (or faster).
Then sometimes - when you are so ridiculously bored - it feels like time is taking it's time (lol?) just to annoy you.
Fact of the matter is, time is ever flowing - neither increasing nor decreasing in speed.

But sometimes, on those special occasions, it would be nice if time took a break :)

Love Story?

I know my blog posts (the oh so many of them) are all very sad and mopey - the reason for that is that I blog when I feel sad or emotional (not often) because writing is how I get everything that is on my mind out.
I'm a bit of an intravert (when not around my friends) so when it comes to expressing my feelings, well there is skill I'm definitely lacking there. I'm trying to work on that, but sometimes I like to keep what I'm feeling to the confines of writing... whether it be in a public place (*cough blog cough*) or in my secret little diary (which is currently playing hide and seek and winning...)

So, here is yet another of my sad posts - one day I will try to post something emotionally uplifting.

Have you ever been in love?

Like, so truly in love that you just wish you could spend every moment of the day with said person (who, for all purposes of this post, shall be known as Rolph).
Well Rolph and I have been dating for about, err, two months or so and I am so happy to be with him - he is the most amazing person in the world. When I see Rolph - not to sound corny... well yeah ok I love corny things - the day seems to become so much brighter.
I have been in three relationships previously (you know how teen-love seems to go - they didnt last that long) and finally it seems I've found a guy who really is the beez kneez!!!
It's like one of those fairy tales where there's lil' old Cinderella who was waiting for her Prince Charming to come along and make her life 100000000 times better.
Everyday Rolph comes up with these little conclusions of the day about me - and they're really, really cute - like the kind of cute you can only dream of.
An example of one of these conclusions is: that he is the luckiest guy in the world because he has me in his life (cuteness factor!!!!!!!!) X3

But today he told me that he had a conclusion, but he wasn't sure how to say it and tha he'd tell me when he thought of a word to describe it.
I thought, yeah ok Rolph that's fair enough.
Then a bit later he told me that he wasn't sure if I'd like the conclusion he came to, so he would think of something else.
So - being me - I asked him why he thought I wouldn't like it.
And he told me that it doesn't matter and he'd think of something else.

Holy Whack-a-Moley!!! What does this mean!??!?!?!?!?!
I started freaking out - so I asked him if it was something bad.

He replied that he didn't know!!!!!

HOLY WHACK-A-MOLEY!!!!!!!!!!! ALARM BELLS GOING OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I asked him if he would tell me what it was.
He kept saying that it didn't matter and not to worry about it.

So I asked him again.

Then he said that it was just something he'd noticed over the past few days and that if he still felt the same way about it on monday or tuesday (next week - today is friday - and yes I hope Rebecca Black's song started playing in your head, because it did in mine... and no, I personally am not a fan of the song) he would tell me.

ALARM BELLS ALARM BELLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I asked: Please Rolph, tell me

And he said "no" and then started to talk about his assignment about snakes.
(We are still in school - two years to go then onto uni!!)

I honestly don't want to talk about snakes - I want to know if I've done something bad or idiotic or anything!!!!

I've had too many bad relationships (albeit good for part of the time) and little things like this freak me out!!!!!!
I don't want whatever this "conclusion" is to be the Achilles Heel of our relationship.

Honestly, I don't know what to do - I also don't want to worry my parents about anything being wrong because they've been here through the worst of the past two years (and trust me, there was a lot of baddy bad stuff that happened - teenage drama and stuff).

Rolph is the perfect guy as far as I'm concerned. I don't want it to end.

Security in Environment

I was just thinking a moment ago about first impressions, and how differently people act when they are in a comfortable environment to a foreign one.

Today I was in one of my classes at college, and we were doing some group work - I was with two other friends. Anyway, a girl who was sitting at a different table
was all alone and unsure of where to go, so I asked her if she wanted to join our group. She joined but was very quiet. Because I was in a subject I like and
I feel comfortable in, I wasn't as quiet and shy as I usually am (being at a new school and all). Because I was so talkative the girl seemed to feel more comfortable
even though she didn't know any of us.
Then later that day in a different subject we did some more group work, except this time I was in a class I didn't feel that comfortable in. This meant that my social
skills went down the drain. I was with a friend but that still didn't ease my uneasiness. Another person was asked to join our group. She was also very shy, just like
me. So this whole group situation became very awkward as none of us really knew what to say. I felt sorry for the other person as they didn't seem to be fitting
well into the class, but I was unable to do anything due to my own insecurity.

People generally perform differently when in a situation where they feel completely secure - for example I can be VERY outgoing when I am feeling secure!

So I think everyone must have mixed impressions about me when they first me ...

Hopefully soon I will feel more comfortable at the new college!!!!

It all started with a game...

Hey there anyone who happens to stumble upon this almighty blog,

Seeing as this is my very first entry, I should probably write something really nice and sweet and sentimental that will make you all want to come and visit my blog every day to see if i've written something new. But sadly that beautiful juicy stuff you're dying to read will have to wait.
For the initial purpose of starting this blog was to get the troubles out of my mind so I can go to sleep (I'm very tired). If I don't express these troubles then I probably will not sleep well. Since I find writing the best means for me to express myself, I decided to make a blog. The very blog which you see before you.

So what does it mean "It all started with a game..."? Why did you name this blog entry those very words?

Here's the speal: Today I stumbled across something that someone else (let's name this person, whose gender will also remain anonymous, Higlessbottom) had written whilst logged into MY social networking account (which will also remain anonymous, so I shall call it SocialNetwork).
Why was this person logged into SocialNetwork as myself, you ask?

Well, Higlessbottom had become addicted to a game (whose name I will not make up, nor shall I mention it) that Higlessbottom then proceeded to introduce me to. It was quite a fun game and I wasted hours over several days playing it. It was addictive. But then the original fascination for the game died off after a while due to this thing called "School Work", so I stopped playing the game. However, Higlessbottom took it upon Higlessbottom's self to continue my game for me (Higlessbottom new my SocialNetwork password) because if Higlessbottom wouldn't then my people and my citadel would die.

I could see that Higlessbottom found pleasure in playing not only their game, but also mine, so I allowed it (despite it being slightly annoying for me - I didn't say a word). This was all good and jolly, until I discovered that Higlessbottom had ensured I was joined in a SocialNetwork group that were my allies in the game. That was fine - after all I could switch off the dozens of notifications I was receiving if I wanted to. Then horror struck as I discovered Higlessbottom had made contact with some of these unknown people through this group through my account. I was greatly displeased by this. I still am. Since writing those simple words in the group "Hello? :)" I had started getting friend requests from these people who I didn't know. Enough was enough, so I insisted on speaking with Higlessbottom about this.

Higlessbottom came and I explained that I wanted the interaction between players to remain within the game, not in other areas of SocialNetwork and that I didn't want to Higlessbottom to talk with them through my account. Higlessbottom said that it was remaining in the game, that the group was only an extension of the game. I explained that I had since gotton friend requests that I really didn't want and that I didn't want to continue getting the dozens of notifications every time someone wrote in that group. Higlessbottom was unhappy and said (as leaving the place we conversed) "I should stop playing your game then too."

I know how much Higlessbottom enjoyed playing the game for me and I didn't mind if Higlessbottom continued playing it, I just didn't want Higlessbottom to pretend to be me and interact with people i didn't want to. There is a chat within the game that I am more than happy for Higlessbottom to converse through.

Now Higlessbottom is upset and angry I think too. Higlessbottom has been going through a lot of things lately. I didn't know how to speak with Higlessbottom about the issue to I spoke bluntly. My social interactions when it comes to sticky subjects aren't even close to satisfactory and I know that. I was hoping Higlessbottom would know that too, since Higlessbottom and I have known eachother for a very long time.

I apologise for coming across bluntly and if Higlessbottom ever reads this, I also apologise for picking such a silly name for this person.

I am much calmer now that I have gotten my feelings out in writing, even if it is on a not-so-private blog...